Two Side to a Coin
by roxie danielle malfoy
Summary: The truth is never as simple as it looks. Do you think you know the real Draco Malfoy? Look again..


_This is my first fanfiction guys!!_

_Please be kind to me and give me reviews on how to improve on my writing. They will be much appreciated!_

_I do not own Harry Potter and any of the characters mentioned in this story. The only thing that is mine is the story._

**JOURNAL OF DRACO MALFOY**

Date: I do not believe it is necessary to write this down as this will be my only entry.

Yes. This is I, Draco Malfoy, leader of the Slytherin House, often called the Prince of Slytherin by my housemates. Commonly known as 'The Bastard' or 'The Ferret' to the students from the other houses in Hogwarts.

Believe me when i say that people fear me. And i will not lie to you when i say that i feed on the fear that i see in the students' eyes when i walk pass. Power is a great thing. This is what I have been taught from young and is about the only thing that I am sure of in my life right now. Power gives me assurance and safety, something that has been absent in my life before I started attending Hogwarts.

My greatest enemies in the school are better known as the Golden Trio consisting of Harry Potter (the-boy-got-his-fame-from-a-scar), Ronald Weasley (the-traitor-to-the-pureblooded-lines) and Hermione Granger. Notice that i did not include anything sarcastic or rude about the girl? I decided that i wont lie to myself anymore. At least i wont lie over here since no one in school, scratch that, no one in the world, muggle or wizarding, is ever going to lay their eyes on this.

All of the name calling that has been directed to Granger is just part of my wonderful acting. Acting you say? Yes. I do not mean a single rude thing that I have said to her. Not in the past, not in the present, and I highly doubt it would be the case in the future. The world 'Mudblood' burns my throat whenever i spit it out but i need to let this word surface every now and then to keep my reputation in tact.

Am I in love with this girl then? I honestly have no idea. In fact, i have never been so honest in my entire life as I am right now. I dont have the right to even utter the word love since my life has been devoid of it and I do not know the proper meaning of the word.

There are many forms of love arent there? I remember reading this in some muggle book that i stole from Granger in the past. The most common love is the love between a man and a woman but love between familiy members and love between friends exist as well. I can safely say that I have not experienced a single type of love.

Lucius Malfoy is as much as a father to me as any passer-by on the street in Hogsmede, Money, i receive huge amounts of it from him. Scoldings and punishments are aplenty in my life as well but love is never present. Dont get me wrong here. I do not hate my father. I respect my father, but it is due to fear that i have for him. My guess is that he himself does not understand what love is. Merlin, i wonder if he even know such a thing existed.

So I cant say if Im in love with Granger. But I am certainly infatuated, amazed and intrigued by her. The smile on her face that is never directed towards me can light up the whole great hall and heck, even i can feel the warmth it it. Her laughter is something so melodious, the only music in my life. I will rather kill myself than to admit this to anyone but Potter and Weasley must be one of the luckiest people to be able to spend almost every waking moment in her presence. I doubt they even know how lucky they are.

I often wonder if i will one day break free from the hold that the Malfoy name has over me and be free to be my own man. To be free to attempt to make ammendments and let that bushy haired bookworm know that I am not the man she sees and assumes to know. To be able to carry an intelligent and cival conversation with her without having to bother about my reputation being at risk. Maybe to even hold her in my arms just for a fleeting moment and experience the closet thing to bliss i will ever have.

One day. Maybe one fine day after Potter manages to end the war and hopefully, at the same time, end my painful existance as a Malfoy. I dont mean that i want to die, i just want to be free. And if Merlin is on my side, I may be able to make the whole world, espeically her, see that Draco Malfoy is not the boy that they know back in Hogwarts and just like that are two sides to a coin, there are two sides to me.

_What do you think of this guys? It is actually a little too morbid for my style since i tend to enjoy happy stories but i just cannot help getting this down when the thought came to me._

Hope you enjoyed reading it!


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